Why does it have to be so hard? It seems to be harder and harder as she gets older. We had no terrible 2's here and just a few issues at 3 (mostly Anna wanted to eat the ones she loved leaving bite marks). Since then, she's been a pleasure! Really! Up until now, we've never had major issues.
SOOOOO, a couple of weeks ago, Anna got caught in a lie. I gave her plenty of opportunity to get out of it but she stuck to her poorly constructed story. After that event, we told her if she lied again, she would only be allowed to have family over for cake and ice cream instead of her big birthday party. Well, tonight, she was supposed to be cleaning her room. I asked her if she was busy cleaning and she said "YES!" I asked her if she was lying to me. "NO! I'm cleaning!" I go upstairs a little later to check on her and what do you think I found? A room messier than it was before she was sent upstairs to clean her room. I ask her again if she cleaned her room and unbelievably, she says YES. I looked her dead in the eye and ask again and she finally says "No." She knew instantly that she messed up big time. And, now I'm torn. I never should have threatened to take her party away but I am trying really hard to instill in her that it is so VERY wrong. WHAAAAA! This stinks.
Then we're still dealing with issues with her teacher. I honestly think he has the potential to be a great teacher but he's just not there yet. Its mostly a classroom management issue we're having. I finally broke down after I found out the newest pieces of information and wrote the principal. Hopefully, she can either get him the tools he needs to make her class run better OR she can find someone to mentor him to teach him how to handle the class in a more appropriate way.
3 comments:
Oh, I can feel your pain. It sucks when you give them ultimatums that you don't want to carry out, but if you don't, you are teaching her that you don't mean what you say. That is a powerful weapon for the child to have. You have to do what you said you were going to do -- that your word can be trusted as truth; she needs to be able to depend on your word -- it will be very difficult because you want your child to not be unhappy, but you must follow through. She needs to know that you mean what you say. She needs to believe in your words.
P.S. You aren't being a meanie. You gave her a choice. She made the decision to disobey you. She did this to herself and she is old enough to have consequences.
Hey, Bethany came up with a good idea. Instead of cancelling her party completely, you can have her "earn" back the privilege of the party by doing extra chores, obeying, telling the truth, using her manners, etc. Bethany uses a chart and puts sad faces when the kid is not cooperating or behaving badly, and happy faces when all goes well. Sometimes when she goes a whole day without incident, she gets to cover up a sad face with a happy one and earn the treat at the end of the week. Someting to consider. Of course, you needn't use the chart if she is too old for that, but it is a way to get around the ultimatum.
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