About 11 years ago, I stumbled onto a website for moms called ePregnancy. On that site, I found message boards that fit a ton of topics but the one that caught my eye was the DUE IN OCTOBER board. Moms from all walks of life were posting there about their pregnancies, the symptoms they were having, the cravings, the baby showers, doctors appointments and so much more. Now, I was in Maine at the time and was fairly alone. Reed worked a lot and all my friends had husbands and/or families. I was attracted to this board because I had other moms who were going through the exact same things that I was going through. And, many of them weren't on their first kids. I lurked for a good long time. I don't think I posted anything about myself, Anna or my pregnancy until close to October. But, through lurking, I slowly got to know these women. I became more confident and once October hit, I started posting more regularly. When someone was gone for a few days, we'd wonder about them and then they'd show up with an amazing birth story and pictures.
Eventually, all our October moms had their babies. Some were actually born in September and others were born in November. Motherhood brought on a whole new set of questions for this new mom. I knew a lot and I was fairly confident about what I was doing as a parent but I surely didn't know everything. These women, since they were so readily available were often the first people I'd go to when I had a question. "Should I feed her an extra ounce?" "How much medicine should I give her?" [back in the day, you could give babies medicine] "What does a yeast-y diaper rash look like?" You know...all the first time mom questions. Quickly, these ladies became my friends. It wasn't long before we were chatting about other things- work, kids other than October babies, school, our homes.
Would you believe it if I told you that over 10 years later we still communicate? Yes! It's so amazing! A bigger company bought ePregnancy and over time the changes that were made just didn't fit our group. Plus, we had gotten so close as a group, we actually didn't want to let anyone else in. That's how personal some of the things we shared were. So, we decided to start our own private board which we kept active for a few years. Over time, as our lives got busier, we were on the boards less and less. Eventually, we moved to a closed Facebook group and while it doesn't have quite the charm as our old message boards, it works and it's free.
Over the years, we've lost some people. Many of them are in our Facebook group though so that's nice. I'm not friends with all of them, and that's fine too. I still kind of get to see their kids grow up in Facebook profile pictures. I've met a few of them in person too!
I met Corrie, whose daughter's name is also Anna, when they were just over a year old. Corrie's husband is in the Navy so we had that instant connection on top of us both having Annas. They were stationed here at the time and are now in San Diego so the last time I was in San Diego, I got to have dinner with her, Anna and her son, Brody.
Then, I met Karol, mom to Isabella. She lives outside of Richmond and we met shortly after I'd met Corrie. We've met up several other times since then too, usually to shop because that's what we do best beside gab. I usually leave with ache-y stomach muscles because she makes me laugh so hard! She's a blast to be with! Summer before last, she called me to tell me her husband was playing in Williamsburg so Anna and I went up to see them. Anna and Isabella got along famously!
I met Jessica when she actually came here for Anna's 5th birthday party. Yes, she drove here with her two kids, Richie and Emily, and stayed in my home. We had never met face to face but had talked on the phone a lot. It was a horrible trip for her. Emily got hurt and was in the E.R. and she got into an accident herself just before Anna's party. At the time, she was also married to a Navy man so we've seen each other a few times when he was up here for work stuff. After they got divorced, I wasn't sure that I would see her again but then she became the area manager for Green Beans Coffee and one of her stores is HERE. So, we've been in contact again recently and just had dinner together a few weeks ago when she was up on business. She's awesome and it's so easy to just be with her and it always has been.
I also met Steph and Heather when Anna was 6. We went to Reno to visit Reed's family and also decided to go stay in Salinas with his grandma. Well, Steph and Heather live on the way there so we stopped for dinner and to hang out and just ended up staying the night instead. Steph and I have been through an amazing amount of "stuff" together--- tough life stuff. I love her! She's a single mom (but wasn't when we started this journey 10+ years ago) and has 2 amazing girls. Haleigh is Anna's age and is such a bright girl! Abby is on the Autistic Spectrum and struggles with so many other issues. Steph and I have spent countless hours on the phone together...talking about her ex, talking about Abby and her issues, talking about Reed, and decorating her house (those were fun!). And Heather has 3 girls although at the time we met, she only had Gabby and Lucy. I remember when we first on the boards and I got this crazy private message from a girl I barely knew about pumping breast milk. You see, that was my oh so brilliant plan with Anna and it worked for awhile. But, for Heather, it was a necessity. Gabby was born with Downs Syndrome which was a big surprise for Heather since none of her tests suggested that. So, it was an HONOR for me to tell Heather all that I knew about pumping breast milk. We grew to LOVE Gabby. She was extra special to us. Then Heather had Lucy and called me so that I could update the other ladies...again it was a honor! Now, Heather has Eve too. They are a super neat family and it's been so cool to watch Heather do everything in her power to help Gabby.
Many of them have met too! A few years ago, they planned a huge trip to Boston. I'm not even sure how many of them were there. I almost went too but I had been taking a break from the boards (they could kind of be a time suck like Facebook is now) and didn't find out about it in time. And, I've talked to several on the phone: Becca, Kelly, Robin, Jill, Kate and Mindy. Many of them were there for me even at my lowest times!
And there are others! LOTS of them! Mindy has THE best success story of anyone I know. I just get happy when I read about how awesome her life is right now. I have a serious soft spot for my Australian friend, Kate! Her Marty is the only kid I know with bigger eyes than Anna! Nikki and I couldn't be more different but we respect each other so much! Monica is a mom who has it all and does it all. She has the perfect balance of time with her kids and time with her husband and time for herself. I love that about her! Virginia is so sweet and always offers to pray for all of us. Carolyn is the same way and is probably the best truly single mom I know. Becca has opened her home to foster children and has adopted 5 of them. Her family of 5 grew to a family of 10 in a few short years and they now have a mini-farm on top of it! OH and she homeschools her kids so I'm kind of in awe of her. Then there's Laurie who used to be my late night partner in crime. She's so amazing she collected all of our recipes and put them into bound books so that we could each have one and then mailed them all to us!
I could type/talk all night about these amazing ladies that have been in my life for over 10 years. Many of us are in different relationships now. Some have moved even if it was just down the road. All of us are different from when our children were babies. But I honestly hope that I have some sort of connection with them forever. Too much has passed by for me to be ok with not seeing these kids grow up. We rejoice in each other success (and our children's successes) and we are there for each other when the bad stuff in life happens. And I would hope that even if some of the ladies I don't keep in touch with as much were ever passing through town and needed something that they'd know they could Facebook me and I'd do whatever I could to help them. Collectively, they have shaped who I've become as a mom, wife and even friend. I love these ladies!
1 comment:
I LOVE YOU TONI!!!
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