Happy birthday to me!

So for weeks, I've been thinking that I'm getting ready to turn 34. WEEKS! Well, today I realized that NO, I'm really going to turn 33. Today's the day!

I'm really looking forward to this year. I think I've grown a ton in the last couple of months and I know that this year is going to be VERY full. What's in store? Some of you may know already but I am having Gastric Bypass sometime this fall. I have 1 more appointment to get through and then I get to meet with my surgeon again to schedule my date. That's the "secret surgery" I've been talking about. I've been working on myself emotionally and mentally in preparation for this. I've decided to put my big girl panties on and be a grown up. I'm not going to let my weight affect my life anymore and I'm not going to let it be a reason to fail anymore. I think in many ways, I've been hiding and taking the easy way out since teaching didn't work out. This is what lead me to my decision to go with Reed to San Diego even if that meant staying there for 4+ years. I've prayed and thought about this surgery a ton and am no longer scared of the changes that will take place because of it. Just months ago, the thought of this amount of change this quickly terrified me. I'm still scared. Terrified. But I'm not letting it stop me. I'm more resolved to living life again. Its been far too long. Its funny but only THIS could be bigger than a move across the country. We hope that eventually we'll be able to have another baby after surgery. I hope that this will give me the confidence I need to start a new career...something I LOVE doing. We know we'll be able to do more together as a family. We know that this is the RIGHT thing for me.

This is one of the reasons I wanted to make my blog private. I need to be able to share this stuff and its so easy to write my thoughts out. The ups and downs of this process will have to come out somehow. You can also look forward to MANY weight loss pictures.

So, here's to 33. May it be a very blessed, exciting year. My I conquer my fears to live a better life. May I enjoy living again!